Relationship & Dating Advice

What Should I Say?

Many members indicated that they are not quite sure how to approach making a connection at These members indicate that they are not sure what to say, or how much to say. In fact, we have been informed that many of our AOL members try to engage in a "chat-like" tone, asking people if other members want to "chat", without revealing any information about themselves. This is not a very effective approach at

It is important to remember the environment you are in at everyone is a single adult and looking to make some connections. It is not an AOL chatroom, where people are pretending to be single or just looking to goof around and chat. When you send a message through, you already have the other members attention by sending a message; however, you need to say something to encourage the other member to write back.

Here is one suggested approach: Without revealing any vital personal information, you should try to give someone a sense of your personality, interests and background. You can ask them to read your profile, but it is better to give some tidbits right there in the message. You should also take one or two things from their profile to indicate that you may have something you both share.

Here's a sample of what we're talking about:

"Hi. I was just browsing on and thought I would send you a message, since we seem to have some things in common. I am a 34 year old professional living downtown area, who also enjoys seeing independent films at the Angelica Theater. I also try to get out of the city once in a while for a bike ride over the bridge, but am starting to appreciate the game of golf and it is usually a choice between the two. Oh, by the way I agree that there is nothing more annoying than a blind date set up by a friend, since it is inevitable that you have to question what your friend really thinks of you for setting you up with such a dud. Well, I'll leave it up to you to tell me a bit more about yourself and maybe we can take the big step up to a cup of coffee. Take care. -your name here"

Of course, there is no correct way to approach this, but a little sincerity and humor will go a long way. Good luck, we hope this helps some of you.

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